Weed puns are undoubtedly a funny thing for everyone. Regardless if you are a stoner or not, the common weed jokes are simply a laughing matter for all, plus potheads never get mad if you are making fun of them! On the contrary, they will join in on the party and make things even funnier! Or they will completely shadow the efforts of non-stoners who want to be the star of the evening by making jokes about the stoners. Honestly, don’t try to be funnier than stoners because that is simply impossible!
The best weed puns come in a form of both memes and written jokes, and we will cover both of them.
The Stoner Exam
Here’s a weed pun that a lot of us can relate to:
How do you know that you are a stoner?
- You studied 5 days for a urine test!
This weed pun is an absolute cracker until it happens to you. Those of you who live in countries where recreational use of weed is legal to have things going for themselves, which is nice, but for the less fortunate living in places where recreational weed consumption still faces obstacles, this is a nightmare coming to life. Imagine you applied for a job, it is your dream position and it was given to you out of those people who have applied. You are in a state of an ecstasy and then they tell you that the last thing they need to do is have you tested for drug consumption. Oh.dear.Lord. It’s like the gates of Hell have opened beneath you, and Satan himself is there laughing at you. What do you do? Put the test off as much as you can and seek help from your buddies on the Internet! Within five days you are an expert on how the get weed out of your system so it doesn’t show on the urine test!
Or you can be like this legend over here delivering one of the most hilarious weed puns ever!
-Did you hear about the kid who died from weed overdose?
– Neither have I!
Now, this is the weed pun you want to tell to everyone who is saying that weed is bad for you! You might remember back in primary school when they were telling you that you should always say no to drugs and weed was the first one on the list. The 8-year old you probably even swore to never touch weed as it is a dangerous drug! Otherwise, you will be a disgrace to your family, your mother will disown you and you will end up on a very bad place (probably homeless, unemployed or even behind bars according to anti-drug lectures from the beginning of this century). But look at you now! Successfully adulting and weed is helping you! The health benefits of weed have been long proved, so next time someone questions your lifestyle, telling you that you are making bad life choices while they are sipping on their fifth glass of whiskey, just ask them to rethink their life choices and leave you alone! Also, tell grandma that thanks to the weed you are smoking you are able to eat all of that food she puts in front of you! You can even quote Bill Murray and one of the most awesome weed puns ever!
What did the stoner say to the girl who didn’t want to go out with him?
- If I can’t marry you, I’ll Mary Jane!
In all fairness, Mary Jane is always a better option! Or Michael Jackson as we called weed in high school when our teachers started figuring things out. Whatever the case is, if you can’t marry the one you want, you can always Mary Jane and live happily ever after! She’s no fuss, always there to put a smile on your face and remind you that life is great! *seductively looking at my weed*
What do you call a stoner who spills his weed on the floor?
- A drug abuser
Honestly, how can someone do that?! You should not waste the holy plant given to us by the Gods! This is a complete “true story bro” weed pun! But in all fairness, the following scenario has probably happened to you as it has happened to me: You are about to roll the prettiest and most packed joint and you have the urge to sneeze and when you open your eyes half of it is gone in dark oblivion, scattered on the floor. Oh, the pain!
So try to be more like Jameson here with his perfect weed pun!
How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad?
– I don’t know! I’ve never had it longer than an hour!
Yeah, really, how should one know how long does it take for weed to go bad? Weed is not something you store for…for some special occasion! Weed is to be loved and enjoyed as you all know!
But jokes aside, how long does it take for weed to go bad? We know how long you can be high on marijuana, but we still don’t have any idea if weed has some sort of an expiry date. Does anyone have an answer to this weed pun riddle?
Nickelback Classic Weed Pun
Nickelback, for some reason, are one of the favorite bands to joke about for many people. In all fairness, it’s not like they are bad or anything, but obviously, the Internet always wants to make fun of the good guys!
What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed?
– Man, this music sucks.
Ouch! But this is such a funny weed pun, too! Sorry Nickelback fans who are not smoking weed, but this is actually legendary!
Hopefully, these weed puns put a smile on your face regardless if you are a smoker or non-smoker. But we all have to agree on one thing – weed puns are hilarious and for that reason, we give you a little extra something. Check out the video below if you are looking to laugh a bit more!