It’s a new week which means another opportunity for Twitter to provide us with a fresh batch of hilarity. We dig through all the nonsense to bring you the funniest and most entertaining tweets right to your screen. Be sure to follow all these hilarious individuals and check back here every week for more laughs!
is he one of us pic.twitter.com/9lkRJu5BUt
— birthday babe, 10/10 would cuddle/adore (@WiredHoney) May 14, 2018
LeBron showing up to the NBA Finals every year https://t.co/bBL6YEarHn
— Mo Hamed (@MoDollazz) May 28, 2018
You can say "have a nice day." and no problem. But you can't say "enjoy the next 24 hours!" and not sound vaguely threatening.
— Talk To The Hatter (@Talk_To_The_Hat) April 30, 2018
Last time Lebron didn’t go to a finals? James K Polk was President. A young man named Elvis Presley had invented the VCR. And a new book topped the New York Times best sellers list: the Bible.
— Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) May 28, 2018
The digital assistant arms-race is really heating up! Siri can now make phone calls and we got an exclusive look: pic.twitter.com/ztP5zGKZlo
— Kevin Pereira (@Attack) May 10, 2018
AYOOO I AINT THINK MY SCHOOL WOULD PUT MY QUOTE LMAOOO pic.twitter.com/g0xH5Q7CWo
— B. (@bbernierxo) May 21, 2018
The basketball scene from 'Catwoman' is the worst movie scene of all time. pic.twitter.com/IWwBFQ6kLt
— Lights, Camera, Pod (@LightsCameraPod) May 24, 2018
Everyone at home kept watching Netflix using my profile. Messed up all my lists and history… so I renamed “Dad” to “Install Windows Updates Now.” Problem solved. pic.twitter.com/33tpvghLCf
— mike angiulo (@mikeangiulo) April 7, 2018
No matter how much I’m enjoying any concert I still always just kind of want it to be over
— Joe Randazzo (@Randazzoj) May 24, 2018
Today is the day I focus and get my life together unless even one minor thing goes wrong, in which case I’ll spiral back into self-destruction
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) May 26, 2018
In Shrek, Shrek grabs a frog, blows it up like a balloon and IT FLOATS.
Does this mean Shrek has the ability to exhale pure helium? What other secrets lie within his fascinating anatomy?
Hi, I'm Neil DeGrasse Tyson and I am fucking baaaaaked.
— Das Skoogeth (@Skoogeth) May 17, 2018
In New Jerseyian, "speed limit 55" translates to "if we all go 80 they can't pull us all over" and I think that's so beautiful
— els McClean (@elisemckeann) May 24, 2018
My mom dressed up as my dog noooooo pic.twitter.com/ScP43uIL67
— Zoë Baumann (@zoebaumann_) November 1, 2016
I filled in for my parents today at my little sister’s college orientation because they couldn’t make it. While I was having lunch with the other parents one of the moms commented on how young I looked. I told her I had Jessica when I was 13. She choked on her salad.
— Łiv (@LIV_STEINKE) May 24, 2018
A small joy in my life is tht my sis is dating a guy w/ the same name as her cat & human Nigel hates tht we all call him human Nigel.
— Bounder (@DawgBelly) May 11, 2017
brushing your teeth next to your significant other kinda awkward. who’s gonna stop brushing first? who cares more about their teeth? do they actually take this long or is it because i’m here?
— ?¿ruckin¿? (@ruckin_) May 28, 2018
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) November 14, 2012
my therapist said she couldn’t see me anymore after i spent three sessions in a row insisting that bowling balls are technically gloves
— viking (@notviking) May 26, 2018
China on track to dominate shitposting by 2025 pic.twitter.com/CVmAP2k6Q6
— Gabriel Morton (@gabrielenguard) May 26, 2018