It’s a new week which means another opportunity for Twitter to provide us with a fresh batch of hilarity. We dig through all the nonsense to bring you the funniest and most entertaining tweets right to your screen. Be sure to follow all these hilarious individuals and check back here every week for more laughs!
— wholesome Sue (@_AsToldbyTerry) July 7, 2018
I deleted Facebook cause I was tired of seeing everyone getting engaged/married and having babies. About to delete Instagram cause I’m tired of seeing people hotter than me. Never gunna delete twitter cause we all miserable here
— Stephanie Ann (@_stephthemess) July 5, 2018
What's the most On Brand™️ story you have from your early childhood.
Mine is when my mom told me not to touch the electric stove when it was red, because that meant it was hot, so I made direct eye contact with her and slapped my hand down on the stove top.
— queer royalty✨ (@prinxeMu) July 8, 2018
The "It's only $5, why not buy it" mentality has probably cost me like $10,000 at this point in my life.
— Forrest Bump (@Maxamil89) July 4, 2018
We have a new one to the Jay-Z awkward sports collection. pic.twitter.com/OEqjBYOSEB
— Bulletproof Black Man (@kidnoble) July 3, 2018
— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) July 5, 2018
“attention Gotham, I want 100 million transferred to me before noon or I will poison the city and kill millions!”
“Jay-Z, you see this?!”
“already on it Thug.” pic.twitter.com/dswSTjKkNk
— 2008 lil wayne (@cozydrugs) July 4, 2018
you know when you bite into a sandwich and all the contents get pushed out the back? bad sandwich architecture. too common. we deserve better. especially in the 14-17 dollar sandwich range. at that price the structural integrity of the sandwich should be there but it usually isnt
— y2k (@y2k2y) July 3, 2018
I need a subscription service that sends me slightly larger and larger clothes over time but never mentions it.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 5, 2018
Breaking generational curses one day at a time. pic.twitter.com/HBkeedJINr
— Vladimir Gluten (@KooPa_DAtrOOpa) July 5, 2018
i wonder how old i’ll be when i stop throwing up a peace sign every time somebody puts the camera on me
— shain ★ (@ShainaSpears) July 2, 2018
— Kenny Keil (@kennykeil) July 6, 2018
I’ve had enough pic.twitter.com/ih7SUMLwJ2
— elon musk (@JacobxMcClain) July 4, 2018
Me checking my bank account and calling my friends to make plans anyway pic.twitter.com/vH9NBklCwR
— ᎶᎥᏞᏞᎬᎽ (@TraeGilley) July 5, 2018
friday night lit pic.twitter.com/SQw8hL6VVe
— Danielle Betsy (@sistersome) July 7, 2018
Favorite new thing:
Scratching haunting things into bananas at the market so when people take them home hours later and the words appear they think a ghost knows their secrets. pic.twitter.com/aDOMd3K8cX
— kevinbiegel (@kbiegel) July 5, 2018