It’s a new week which means another opportunity for Twitter to provide us with a fresh batch of hilarity. We dig through all the nonsense to bring you the funniest and most entertaining tweets right to your screen. Be sure to follow all these hilarious individuals and check back here every week for more laughs!
I took an uber alone at 2am and when I got out my uber driver was like “have fun, get that dick!” and I said “hell yes thank you!!” because I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was being dropped at my moms house cause we have to wake up early to celebrate my dogs birthday
— k80 (@kpfeffss) June 22, 2018
“I curved him but RIP” the most hilarious type of eulogy https://t.co/0IrQfjtdgv
— NYP (@EricTrillman_) June 19, 2018
This dude asked me about my sneakers today but he say “hey, bro, what are those?” I almost smacked him. don’t say what are those when you mean it in a positive way I’m from the internet, nigga
— REPAIR MAN MAN MAN MAN (@JosephBananas) June 22, 2018
actually the class system in america is:
– never been to disney
– went to disney once or twice
– goes to disney annually
— ari (@paddypubs) June 23, 2018
It’s 2012, you’re in your room with your best friend you begged your parents to have over. You get a notification on your iPod Touch from your crush on kik, and your heart skips a beat to “nm hbu”. To complete the night you go on Omegle to talk to strangers, life is good.
— maddie (@madisonxcarnes) June 22, 2018
who did this pic.twitter.com/vW0JXvM87B
— Eagles stink (@NikkiTheNoob) June 22, 2018
The kids I nanny asked why I wanted to see Incredibles 2 and I said because the first one came out when I was a kid
and they really asked ….
If it was in color
— Kirsten Pritchett (@kirstenabigail2) June 22, 2018
At the bar last night, I got guys to buy my book on Amazon instead of buying me drinks.
— Hannah Orenstein (@hannahorens) June 24, 2018
— J (@joriojorijori) June 24, 2018
my mom somehow recorded this video of what I imagine is not actually a flying squirrel pic.twitter.com/D7yt4LOao3
— Adam Rotstein (@madamepotstein) June 22, 2018
my bf ordered an egg and cheese bagel and the guy gave him a hard boiled egg on cream cheese help what’s the number for 911 pic.twitter.com/TPFMqkuATB
— erin chack (@ErinChack) June 24, 2018
chair.exe has stopped working pic.twitter.com/FO56VNvmH4
— Salty Daddy™ (@BeautifulLoser_) June 23, 2018
Mom: If I have 8 apples and eat 3 how many do i have left
Mom: IF I HAVE 8 APPLES…. pic.twitter.com/OWvZQ2jSDg
— [finesse] (@1yungjavion) June 22, 2018
This guy cut me off on the freeway today. I’m not even mad. pic.twitter.com/2z6m88RtzR
— alexis❣️ (@lexialvrz) June 18, 2018
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